Just A Dream
by betitanium
Summary: Oneshot "We never died together, holding each others hand as we took out last breaths. I never got to say goodbye, I never got the chance to save you."


**I know I should be working on updating my other stories, and I am but recently I have been addicted to this song, 'Just A Dream' by Carrie Underwood. If you haven't heard it before, please listen to it when reading this, it makes it more emotional. I think the lyrics are beautiful and have such a powerful message. I haven't written anything like this before, I am just using some of my feelings when my great grand mother died, and building upon those. Again, please, please, listen to the song.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Code Lyoko or the lyrics to 'Just A Dream', they both belong to their rightful owners.**

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The glass felt cold beneath her trembling fingers. Smooth texture, that held her last memory, a painful, burning memory, but one she never wanted to forget. It would stay with her throughout day and haunt her in night, reminding her of what she could have had, what could of been. It was one of the reasons for her tears, echoing sobs in the dark room. She always thought that she would have the perfect life, with him. Never did she think that something would take away her whole future, her whole life, away from her, ripping it from her begging hands. She pleaded, screamed at them, telling them they were wrong, anything to try and bring him back to her. But he stayed, in the unknown world that everyone talked so highly of, but were scared to go to.

Greasy, black hair fell past her shoulders, she grew it long, for him. She saw no reason to wash it, there was no one to do it for, not any more. Of course, her friends, family, tried to talk to her, help her but they did not understand. Only one person could save her, the one person that would never walk through her door, cradle her in his strong arms and kiss away her tears.

**It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen**  
**All dressed in white**  
**Going to the church that night**  
**She had his box of letters in the passenger seat**  
**Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue**

Closing her eyes, she remembered that day clearly, the last day she ever saw him. In his uniform he stood, bad in hand. Her head placed in the crook of his neck, tears leaking onto his sandy clothed shoulder. She could still feel his hand, running through her hair, comforting her, waiting for her tears to stop. She could still smell him, the unique mixture of spray and him, something no one could ever have, no one but him.

The one sense that she could remember most, and the most painful to recall, was hearing. The memory of his lips falling to her ear, the whisper of the three most powerful words in all the languages. Three words that most wait all their lives to hear, begging for God to bring them someone who will have the strength to utter them.

_"I love you..."_

Her heart ached to hear them again, just one more time before she left this cruel, unfair world.

**And when the church doors opened up wide**  
**She put her veil down**  
**Trying to hide the tears**  
**Oh she just couldn't believe it**  
**She heard trumpets from the military band**  
**And the flowers fell out of her hand**

Her tears felt like acid, burning her soul from the inside. She held the paper tighter, wishing for him to come back, to speak the words written into her waiting ear, to kiss her at the end of every sentence, to hold her when he had finished. Instead, she had to read it in the silence, her lips bare and her body cold. The words felt cold and empty compared the husky voice that they could of been.

Only in her dreams did she hear him, pure love falling from his lips before pressing them so softly to hers, a feather falling upon her face. She could remember, never experience ever again. Her dreams gave her the strength she needed, he gave her the strength to carry on, even if she felt she had no purpose without him by her side.

**Baby why'd you leave me**  
**Why'd you have to go?**  
**I was counting on forever, now I'll never know**  
**I can't even breathe**  
**It's like I'm looking from a distance**  
**Standing in the background**  
**Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now**  
**This can't be happening to me**  
**This is just a dream**

She kept reading the letters, never putting any of them done. But the one currently held in her shaking hands, was her last, was his last. The final words he wanted her to know before he was so cruelly taken away from the world, away from her.

_"....I'll be home soon, I hope. I need to see you, to embrace you and kiss you. I need you, I will always need you. You give me strength and hope. I miss you so much...."_

How could he not know that the only reason she was able to give him strength, was because he was the one that gave it to her? Her eyes kept scanning the page, pretending that it was true, that he was coming home. Pretending he was coming back for her.

**The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray**  
**Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt**  
**Then the congregation all stood up**  
**And sang the saddest song that she ever heard**

She thought she had experienced pain. When she was eleven, she had fell out of a tree and broke her leg, she thought that was pain. When she was fourteen, she experienced heartbreak when she saw the person she secretly loved, kissing another girl, she thought that was pain. But now she realised how naive she was, how innocent she thought life was. Now she knew the secrets that lay beneath its appearance.

**Then they handed her a folded up flag**  
**And she held on to all she had left of him**  
**Oh, and what could have been**  
**And then the guns rang one last shot**  
**And it felt like a bullet in her heart**

There had been a time when she wanted it to end, the pain and tears. She had sat in her room for hours, staring at the small tablets that lay in the clear tube. It would have been so easy, a handful, that was all it would of taken. Then she would be in his arms once again.

Her mother walked in, stopping her thoughts of the pills. She remembered her holding her, not knowing the terrible deed her daughter was about the do.

**Baby why'd you leave me**  
**Why'd you have to go?**  
**I was counting on forever, now I'll never know**  
**I can't even breathe**  
**It's like I'm looking from a distance**  
**Standing in the background**  
**Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now**  
**This can't be happening to me**  
**This is just a dream**

His funeral was the hardest day of her life. Her heart, breaking with every step they took, holding the casket above the shoulders, carrying their friend to let him sleep. A peaceful, ever lasting slumber.

They wanted her to make a speech, and she did, but ended up broken on the church floor, her friend running over to her, rocking her as she wept, listening to her pleads to bring him back. She still had the paper that she wrote it on, sometimes she read it, wishing that he could of read it like she read all of his letters.

_"... you were my soul mate, my true love, my forever. Every time I walk in the door, I expect you to be waiting, holding your arms out to comfort me. I never got to say how much I loved you, there were no words. We never had the future we planned; we never got married, we never brought a house, we never had three children, one boy, a girl and another boy, we never got to watch and make fun of each other while we entered out old age. We never died together, holding each others hand as we took out last breaths. I never got to say goodbye, I never got the chance to save you. I love you so, so much and if I ever got a second chance, I would never let you forget that. I'm not sure how I'm going to live without you, I don't want you to go but I know you had no choice. Please, just promise me this, don't ever leave me, watch me as you look down from heaven. I know you never wanted to see me cry, I really try but sometimes I need to because when I cry, I remember you. I will never forget you, I could never do that. How could I forget the one I love? The one I thought I would spend all of my life with. I love you, please just don't leave me. I don't want to be alone, it hurts to much. I'm begging you, if you can hear this, please, just don't leave me."_

**Baby why'd you leave me**  
**Why'd you have to go?**  
**I was counting on forever, now I'll never know**  
**Oh, now I'll never know**  
**It's like I'm looking from a distance**  
**Standing in the background**  
**Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now**  
**This can't be happening to me**  
**This is just a dream

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**Wow, I'm not sure if it was because of the memories of my great grandmother's funeral, or because I wrote it, or something else, but I started crying, especially the last paragraph. I know this ended weird but it sort of has a meaning; the ending is kind of cut off, like lives can be in the world. The storyline is quite simple but powerful, it reminds me of how short life is and in the speech she says 'we never had the future we planned...', that happens to so many people and unless we have that experience, none of us can truly understand how much that hurts. Thank you so much for reading.**


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